


i'll see you next time.

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Fake Dating, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Canon Compliant, Slow Burn, slight homophobia, sunatsukki is looking kinda good rn tho, this was supposed to be for krtsk week but i totally lost all the prompts haha my bad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:02:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25475824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: maybe if tsukishima were a little braver and if kuroo looked a little closer. too bad it was always a maybe.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Suna Rintarou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 50
Kudos: 78





	1. i never said no but i never said yes either

**Author's Note:**

> hi hi! so explanation for the tags. i had no idea that krtsk week was happening until two days before so i started writing :) unfortunately i am dumb and started writing an entire fic. so instead i'm choosing to have the first prompt as the plot and slowly weave the rest in!  
> okay this is too long now, i hope you enjoy!

One of the things that made Kuroo so interesting was the way that Tsukishima could never find it in himself to say no to him.

Maybe it was his feigned aloof behavior as he walked up to the blond. His mouth would be twisted in that smirk that Tsukishima came to memorize over the years of knowing him. Tsukishima would rather place his bets on the way that Kuroo would let go of his guarded expression and show a genuine smile. The one where his canines were way too prominent and his left dimple would sink lower than the other. 

“Hey Tsukishima can I call you Tsukki, like your cute friend?” Kuroo teased him as he sauntered up to the blond. They were covered in sweat from their late practices, Hinata and Lev ran them ragged with their constant rematches. Tsukishima had been greedily gulping down his water when the older boy walked up to him. He narrowed his eyes at the older boy who was barely winded, rocking back and forth on his heels in wait for the answer. Tsukishima just clicked his tongue at him and walked away. Kuroo’s smile grew, knowing that while he never said yes, he never said no either. 

“Hey Tsukki! Can I come to watch one of your matches? I wanna make sure that you’re holding up to your senpai’s techniques!” Kuroo exclaimed through the phone.

Tsukishima's phone had been thoroughly drenched from the downpour about a week ago, forcing him to always use the speakerphone. People never called him anyways so he never found a problem with waiting for the replacement. Besides, he always just used his headphones anyways. It just so happened that he’d forgotten them at Yamaguchi’s house the other night. He could still picture it, lying innocently on his mattress. It slipped his mind when he answered the phone so naturally he pressed the speakerphone, allowing the whole team to hear Kuroo’s remarks. 

“Is that Nekoma’s captain?” Hinata asked, a hint of jealousy in his voice. Tsukishima silenced him with a glare and moved to hang up the phone when Tanaka plucked it out of his hands. 

“Oi you Tokyo shitty boys! Don’t mess with our underclassmen!” He barked out, his face in that intimidating expression even though Kuroo couldn’t see. Kuroo’s end went extremely quiet, making Tanaka’s face falter as he stared at the screen. 

“Did he hang u―” Sugawara started but was interrupted by the horrific screeching that Kuroo called a laugh. The Karasuno Volleyball Club looked at each other incredulously as Kuroo continued to laugh. His gasping filled the club room until he finally hacked out his last giggle. 

“Tsukki, he said ‘shitty’ instead of ‘city’ like you said! I missed you country bumpkins, let me come watch! I’ll even bring Akaashi and Bokuto!” Kuroo wheezed out. The tips of Tsukishima’s ears burned red as he stomped over and snatched it out of Tanaka’s hands. He aggressively mashed the red button and walked back to his duffel bag. Daichi and Sugawara exchanged a look before ushering everyone back to what they were doing.

Kuroo rolled his eyes as a new text message pinged on his phone, attached to a completely blank message was a PDF file of Karasuno’s schedule. 

“Tsukki! Let’s get in line for space mountain already!” Kuroo laughed uproariously as he pulled Tsukishima towards the crowd. Tsukishima rolled his eyes at how childish the older boy was but allowed himself to be dragged. Kuroo had gotten them express passes so they were in a much shorter line than anyone else. Bokuto and Akaashi soon caught up to them and waited in line. Tsukishima stayed silent as he listened to Kuroo and Bokuto discuss what poses they should do for their photos. He let his mind wander but as soon as he turned towards the ride, he froze.

He would never admit it aloud, especially not to Kuroo, but he’d always had a fear of heights. He hated the feeling of his stomach turning over as he hung mid air. It always made his knees shake when he looked at the ground below, knowing he was one mistake away from plummeting. He could hear the irony laced in the brunette’s words. 

“You’re this tall and you’re scared of heights? You must’ve done something terrible in a past life!”

Tsukishima swallowed roughly and tried to get back into the conversation, sneaking horrified glances at the ride as the line grew shorter and shorter. 

“Hey,” Kuroo got his attention with a light brush against his knuckles. “Just say no and we’ll leave the ride,

Tsukishima looked into his eyes. Even though Kuroo had been looking forward to the ride the whole day, Tsukishima knew that he wasn’t lying about his offer. Tsukishima took another deep breath and mustered his usual smirk.

“My my, are you sure you aren’t the one who’s scared Kuroo-san?” He snickered. Kuroo’s eyes narrowed playfully and jabbed him in the gut lightly. Kuroo turned his back to Bokuto, striking up another conversation. Tsukishima bit his lip and felt his stomach churn when he caught a glimpse of the various loops that the ride went through. Akaashi cleared his throat behind him, distracting him from his thoughts. 

“You know you really can say no, we’ll leave and no one will blame you,” Akaashi repeated, his voice low enough so that the other boys couldn’t hear him. Tsukishima rolled his eyes and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“I know,” Tsukishima said before taking a step onto the metal platform. Kuroo was practically vibrating in his seat with excitement, swiveling his head back to cheer with Bokuto. Tsukishima closed his eyes and leaned his head against the chair, swallowing the butterflies that threatened to fly out. 

“I’ll tell you when to look,” Kuroo said. Tsukishima’s eyes widened, forgoing his usual cold demeanor as he fervently shook his head. Kuroo rolled his eyes but grabbed Tsukishima’s hand, his own way of telling him to trust in him. His heart beat even faster when the roller coaster started moving. Tsukishima’s face contorted into a queasy smile as he felt the ride slowly make its way up to the incline. As it began to slowly even out, he felt a tapping on his shoulder.

He forced one of his eyes to open to see Kuroo staring right at him. His hair was whipping around them, the wind almost aggressively battering his face. His eyes teared up against the wind but he still kept them wide and alert, almost as if he was afraid that if he blinked, it would all go away. Tsukishima watched as his lips twisted, showing off his white canines and that little asymmetrical dimple. He found himself relaxing into his seat, finding the courage to open both of his eyes. 

He found that he didn’t mind heights as much anymore. Not when Kuroo showed him just how beautiful the view at the top was. 

Their physical interactions started to slow after that. Kuroo was too busy preparing for college entrance exams while Tsukishima focused on his exam finals. They texted often or rather, Kuroo would text Tsukishima about the various thoughts running in his head or his complaints about his teachers while Tsukishima would just send screenshots of his newest musical findings. Kuroo would listen to them on his way to school, texting Tsukishima his thoughts on the lyrics or the beats, whichever he felt most important in the song.

**(From: Stray Cat):** i wanted to complain abt some1 n immediately thought of u, looks like ur finally rubbing off on me ;)

**(From: Stray Cat):** am i annoying u too much? ik ur busy n stuff so just tell me :)

**(To: Stray Cat):** I always accept opportunities to make fun of people. 

**(From: Stray Cat):** ah youth~~ 

They were content with text messages for a while until the burdens of school and their respective lives became too much. Tsukishima was the first one to stop responding. Kuroo kept texting for a while, just assuming that while Tsukishima never answered, he was still reading them. The messages piled up in his inbox but Tsukishima just didn't have the time to have a conversation with him. One day the messages just stopped. Tsukishima just shrugged when Yamaguchi asked about it, sparing those messages one last look before swiping left and pressing delete. 

Tsukishima eventually forgot about his mentor, the day of the fated Battle at the Trash Heap tucked away in the back of his mind. Time flew after the season ended, leaving his days filled with giant gaps of free time. Tsukishima never liked having so much time open so he decided to take up a new hobby. He and Akiteru were walking past his usual music store on their way to the grocery store when something caught his eye. His strides slowed as he watched a worker prop a violin in the display window. 

The worker looked up and blinked in surprise at the sudden attention, shyly waving at the blond. Tsukishima gave a polite nod, turning back to his brother. Akiteru nudged with his elbow, gesturing for him to go ahead. Tsukishima just sneered and kept walking, not waiting for the sound of his brother’s scrambling footsteps to catch up.

Later that day, he found a leather case waiting on his bed. He opened it slowly, revealing a simple white violin. Tsukishima delicately plucked at the strings, marvelling at the way it felt under his fingertips. He held with a delicate quality, so unlike the way that Kuroo had taught him to touch so long ago. 

The third years graduated a few weeks later, making everyone extremely emotional. Tsukishima watched as everyone grouped around the four of them, filled to the brim with tears and smiles. He felt out of place, almost intruding on such an intimate moment.

He’d never been close to any of them. Not in the way that Yamaguchi and Kageyama naturally attached themselves to Sugawara. He’d never been able to connect with Asahi the way that Hinata always did. Yachi was always closest to Daichi and Kiyoko, which surprised everyone but Tsukishima. So instead, he simply stood to the side in silence, allowing everyone to have their moment with them.

“Oi Tsukishima! Don’t think you’ll be able to hide this time!” Asahi yelled after him, quickly slapping a hand over his mouth when he realized how loud he was. Daichi jogged up to them, roughly slapping his back with that same warm camaraderie feeling he never failed to exude. 

“Yamaguchi tells us that you’ve been preparing something on your violin for us,” Daichi smiled, failing to hide his laughter at Tsukishima’s grimace. “I’d like you to perform it for everyone, at the last send off for all of us,”

“Of course he would for his favorite upperclassmen,” Sugawara sauntered up to them, giving Tsukishima a sly wink. 

“I’ve never played for a crowd before,” Tsukishima pushed up his glasses, giving them his trademark smirk. He took a step backwards but knocked into another person. He craned his neck down to see Kiyoko, her stoic face staring at him. 

“Sor―”

“We invited Nekoma and Furkurodani,” Kiyoko said before turning around to catch up with Yachi. Tsukishima frowned and felt Sugawara, Asahi, and Daichi give him one last pat before retreating. Tsukishima just stood there, staring at the place where Kiyoko was standing. He clicked his tongue and shoved his pockets in his hands. He later picked up sheet music at that same music store. If his fingers looked like they were rubbed raw on the days leading up to the party, no one mentioned it. 

“Eh Tsukishima? What’s that?!” Hinata exclaimed as he opened the door. Tsukishima clicked his tongue and pushed the door wider, walking past the tiny redhead. Hinata stuck his tongue at the blond’s lack of response but closed the door behind him, giving him a tiny tour of the house. Everyone from Karasuno had already arrived, half of them taking up their positions on the couch and the others splayed on the floor. 

“Tsukki, we’re playing truth or dare!” Yamaguchi called out to him, beckoning him to join. Tsukishima frowned but ended up sitting down in their circle. They played for a while, Tsukishima watched his teammates do things that he could’ve really lived without. He found out that Tanaka was named Ryunnosuke due to his birthmark on his left shoulder blade that had the outline of a dragon. He watched Nishinoya lick a bathroom door knob before jumping at Asahi for a kiss. Asahi almost body slammed him into the table to get away. The door opened behind him and he winced at Bokuto’s trademark “Hey! Hey! Hey!” 

Tanaka jumped up from his seat, abandoning the group in favor of greeting his doppleganger. Tsukishima didn’t spare a glance at the door, lost in his conversation with Yamaguchi. 

“Tsukishima! Truth or dare?” Sugawara wiggled his eyebrows at him imploringly. Tsukishima snorted and placed his drink on the floor.

“Truth,” Sugawara’s eyes lit up for a second, a faint smirk tracing his lips. 

“H―”

“Have you ever liked anyone before?” A deep voice cut in. Sugawara frowned slightly but tilted his head curiously, allowing the question. Tsukishima grit his teeth and looked up at the figure. Kuroo towered over him, his eyes sparkling with challenge. Tsukishima almost started to shake his head no but he looked into Kuroo’s eyes, knowing that he could sense any lie that he would tell.

“Maybe one person, a long time ago,” Tsukishima answered back. Kuroo’s gaze softened for a second, studying his face. They stared at each other for what felt like years, just losing each other in the flecks of their eyes. The moment was gone too soon, interrupted by Nishinoya tackling Tsukishima, toppling them over. 

“Wow! So he does have a heart!” The libero exclaimed playfully. Tsukishima rolled his eyes and pushed him away, fixing his glasses. 

“Now that we’re all here, Tsukishima has a gift for everyone,” Daichi announced, clapping his hands to get everyone’s attention.

“Is it murder?” Kuroo snickered behind his hand. Tsukishima shot him a glare before reaching behind Hinata’s T.V. to grab his violin. He took off his glasses so that the people around him would morph into giant blurry blobs and took a deep breath. He didn’t need to look at anything, he’d practiced it for hours for this moment. He lifted the bow and rested his chin on the violin, the familiar weight on his shoulder giving him comfort. The room quieted as he played his opening note. He closed his eyes and swayed with every sweeping motion of his arm. He cleared his voice, a rare smile appearing on his face as he sang the first lyric.

Yamaguchi quietly gasped as he heard Tsukishima start singing, a few people looked at him curiously but he was stuck looking at the person standing in front of him. It was a sound that he didn’t think he’d ever hear again. Tsukishima only opened his eyes at one specific line, his eyes landing on a terrible head of hair and a pair of golden eyes staring directly at him.

_So goodbye my friend, I know I'll never see you again but the love you gave me through all the years will take away these tears. I'm ok now...goodbye my friend_

He watched Kuroo lean a little further in his seat, enraptured with Tsukishima’s voice. He sucked in a deep breath and played on, closing his eyes once more. The song ended faster than he remembered, the last note echoing through the house before dousing them in silence. He placed the violin back in its case before putting his glasses back on. He held a hand and found one stray tear, slowly trickling down his cheek and tracing his jawline. He looked up at the third years, their eyes were rimmed with red and their hands covered their mouths. Tsukishima gave them another of his genuine smiles, not finding it in himself to pretend anymore. His eyes roamed over them before bowing deeply at them. 

“Tsukishima!” Asahi wailed as he barreled towards the blond. Sugawara burst into tears, tripping over legs as he made his way up. Daichi laughed at the two of them before following suit, tackling them in a hug. He grunted as he hit the floor, struggling to breath under the weight of the three of them. He grumbled but didn’t make a move to push them away. The hug didn’t feel as bad as he thought it would. A dainty hand was held in view, he looked up at the figure and saw Kiyoko smiling back at him. The boys finally got off of him, allowing Kiyoko to pull the lanky blond up. 

Tanaka and Taketora cried when they saw the gesture. They almost ran up to separate them but Bokuto stopped them, shushing them quietly before pointing. They frowned but complied, their faces still contorted in jealousy as they watched the two of them. 

Their faces softened when they realized that Tsukishima was looking over her shoulder to stare at someone else.

Tsukishima felt disgruntled when the partygoers started to come up to him, complimenting him on his performance. He found himself hiding away in Hinata’s sister’s room, sitting silently on the bed as he recharged. Kenma entered the room without greeting him. His face was lit up by his phone’s light as he walked further, jumping in surprise when he realized that he wasn’t alone. Tsukishima didn’t say anything, he just patted the spot next to him and scooted over. Kenma nodded at him and quietly took up the space, the sounds of his video games taking the role of background noise. After a while Akaashi entered the room, his lips twisted in a smile as he caught the blond’s eyes. He sat down on the other side of the boy, fiddling with his fingers. 

“Thank you,” He said as he knocked his shoulder with Tsukishima. Tsukishima snorted in response and laid back on the bed. 

“It wasn’t for you,”

“I know,” Akaashi said before turning to Kenma. “Bokuto’s guarding the door for you so tell him when you’re ready,” Kenma glanced over to the brunette, giving a small grunt as confirmation before going back to his game. Akaashi waved a goodbye as he gently shut the door behind him. The sounds of the party grew louder as it got more chaotic. Tsukishima sighed and asked if he could just watch Kenma play, receiving a tiny nod as a response. 

“It was for him,” Kenma murmured. Tsukishima’s spine went rigid at the comment, his heart skipped a beat under his analyzing eyes. He swallowed roughly and forced himself to stare at the screen.

“It was for me,”

The noise grew quieter as people started to get tired; sounds of goodbyes and promises to visit faintly rang through the air before the front door shut. A ping from Kenma’s phone had both of them tentatively leaving the room. Kenma tapped on Bokuto’s shoulder and the three of them left to go find Akaashi and Kuroo. They quickly grouped up and walked to the doorway. 

“Okay bye,” Tsukishima said before closing the door. A foot wedged itself before it could close, Tsukishima scowled but didn’t push further. The door creaked open and Kuroo pushed it slightly open so his hand could snake through. 

“Hey Tsukki! Let’s play together again?” Kuroo asked, his hand stretched out towards the blond. Tsukishima looked conflicted but took his hand all the same. Kuroo’s dimples flashed at him, his mouth ran dry as he looked at the older boy. He could’ve pulled back his frigid mask and rejected him but he looked at Kuroo and relaxed into his warmth and feeling of his calloused hands.

“Sure,” and within seconds, Kuroo disappeared again.

He closed the door again but still stood there, waiting for the doorknob to turn. Kiyoko and Sugawara stared at his back, not needing to say a word to each other as they pulled Tsukishima away from the door. 

Time went on, Tsukishima found himself forgetting again. The third years were gone but they still made time to visit so they could check on the new team and help Ennoshita with his captain duties. Tsukishima took on a few underclassmen, knowing that if he wanted to make it to nationals he had to train them well. 

“Put all of your power in your fingertips,” Tsukishima demonstrated to them, stretching his arms over them. They nodded and followed suit, getting ready for Tsukishima’s criticisms. 

“Tsukishima, you sound just like Kuroo-san,” Hinata laughed from across the court as he practiced a new move with Kageyama. Tsukishima blinked and realized that he’d been repeating advice that he once heard a lifetime ago. Kuroo would have a field day if he saw the way that Tsukishima was acting, he felt an argument bubbled up in his throat just so the news wouldn’t reach Kuroo. His mouth moved before he knew he was speaking.

“Yeah, I guess I do,” He stared at his hands. He snapped out of it and barked orders at the underclassmen, smirking at the way they trembled at his voice. “If you banzai block, you’ll run three laps!”

“Yes Tsukishima-senpai!”

Tanaka rolled his eyes at the sight of Tsukishima haughtily laughing over the three young middle blockers. He wondered when Tsukishima had gotten so invested in volleyball. 

Soon graduation came again but this time Tsukishima didn’t feel so distant from the team. As he dodged Tanaka and Nishinoya’s high fives and nodded towards Ennoshita, Narita, and Kinoshita he wondered when they crossed into the category of friend. He found that he didn’t mind their loud cheers during matches or how they always forced him to go get meat buns with the rest of the team. When the first match of the new year started and he successfully snuffed one of Kindaichi’s spikes, he instinctively braced himself for one of Tanaka’s hard pats but none came. He felt the imprint of Nishinoya’s body climbing on to him but no one was there to drag him down. His smile warped into a tiny frown at the realization and fiddled with his fingers as the whistle was blown to indicate that the set was over.

“Nice one Tsukki!” A loud voice boomed through the gym. His eyes widened and he whipped his head towards the stands. 

“Bokuto-san, please calm down,” A quiet voice came through.

“No way! That’s my protege down there, be louder!” Another one exclaimed. Tsukishima felt the vein in his forehead twitch as he saw the trio of boys. Hinata pouted at the attention that Tsukishima was getting but waved over to them. Tsukishima rolled his eyes when he saw Bokuto dangerously leaning over the edge to cheer more. Akaashi gave him a thumbs up which Tsukishima reciprocated with a peace sign. His eyes shifted over to the left and a laugh bubbled up in his throat. Kuroo was waving a miniature version of Karasuno’s banner frantically, his voice sounded hoarse from all of his cheering. Kuroo’s canines flashed at him, looking to anyone else besides Tsukishima like a snarl. 

“They do this every time, how are you still flustered?” Akio, one of the second years that Tsukishima was training to take over his starting position, teased. Yamaguchi snickered at the comment and rubbed Tsukishima’s head roughly. Tsukishima blanched and pushed his captain away, looking back at the bleachers and subtly flipping the trio off. Kuroo’s hyena laughter bounced around the gym, gaining more attention and making Tsukishima blush even deeper. 

“Shut up Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima mumbled as he walked to Yachi to get a rag. Yamaguchi’s mouth was open before he could even say a word. He quickly closed in a smile and skipped over to Tsukishima. 

“Sorry Tsukki!” He sang as he walked to the coach. The match ended in Karasuno’s favor after a long grueling back and forth. He shook hands with Seijoh, Kindaichi’s eyes burned with a fire as they came face to face. Tsukishima returned it with his own smirk, knowing that it wouldn’t be the last time they would face each other.

Tsukishima jogged back to the locker room with everyone, celebrating but also combing through their mistakes. Coach Ukai grabbed him and pulled him to the front of the locker room, declaring him the MVP of the match. The team cheered him on, jostling him as he struggled to keep his frigid expression on his face. He brushed everyone off and pulled on his jacket before grabbing his duffel bag and leaving the room. He was immediately ambushed by a pair of broad arms that tugged him into a tight hug. 

“Bokuto-san I can’t breath,” Tsukishima’s voice strained as Bokuto tightened his hold and lifted him off the ground. Bokuto let him down after Tsukishima whacked him a little more, his face still glowing with happiness. 

“You were incredible!” Bokuto gushed, “Right Kaashi?” 

“You’ve become a formidable opponent,” Akaashi grinned to him. “Bokuto and I can’t stay for long, Kuroo’s in the bathroom right now but he should be here soon,”

“We can stay for a little longer Kaashi! I wanna talk to Hinata!” Bokuto dragged him away, practically bouncing down the hallway. Akaashi waved goodbye before picking up the pace. Tsukishima watched as their figures slowly became obscured from his view before turning around. He got a few more steps away before he heard another voice calling out to him.

“Oi Tsukki! Tsukki!” Kuroo barked, the only part of him visible was his spiked up hair as he weaved through the crowd. 

“Kuroo-san, aren’t you a little old to be at a high school match?” Tsukishima smirked as he got closer. 

“Not old enough for you to give me some respect,” Kuroo bantered immediately, coaxing a sly grin from each other. Kuroo held up his little flag, waving it in front of Tsukishima’s face as he talked about Tsukishima’s performance. Tsukishima scowled at his criticisms but took it gratefully, missing the way that his upperclassmen would do the same. In turn Tsukishima asked him how his college team was doing which Kuroo shared happily. They slowly made their way to the bus, still completely wrapped in their conversation.

“Tsukki! You’re taking too long, get on the bus already!” Yamaguchi yelled through the window. Tsukishima glared at him but shifted the duffel bag on his shoulder. He made a move towards the steps but Kuroo stopped him with a gentle touch to his elbow. Tsukishima turned around, watching Kuroo’s expression as he struggled to find his words.

“Hey Tsukki, you’re going to try and play for UTokyo right?” Kuroo asked sheepishly. Tsukishima furrowed his eyebrows, he hadn’t planned on going so far for college. If anything, he would rather apply for Waseda.

“Of course Kuroo-san,” Tsukishima scoffed at him. “I made a promise didn’t I?”

“Right, I’ll see you at tryouts then, I won’t be giving up my starting position so easily,” Kuroo winked before walking away, slowly disappearing from Tsukishima’s view. 

A couple months later Tsukishima sent him a picture of UTokyo offering him a volleyball scholarship alongside his own acceptance.

“Hey Tsukki! Since we’ll be going to the same college, let’s dorm together!”

“Sure Kuroo-san,”  
  


“Hey Tsukki, you don’t have to use honorifics with me anymore,”

“Okay, Kuroo-sa―Kuroo,”  
  


“Hey Tsukki, I don’t want to go to this party by myself, wanna come with?”

“Fine Kuroo,”  
  


“Do you remember that girl at that party? I can’t stop thinking about her, should I ask her out?”

“If you can even talk to her,”  
  


“Tsukki? I’ll be back late from my date, save me some food?”

“It’ll be shitty if you stay out for too long,”  
  


“Hey Tsukki, do you think that this relationship will work out?”

“‘Course Kuroo, as long as you lo―love the person,”  
  


“Tsukki, I can feel her pulling away, I don’t want to let her go yet,”

“So don’t,”  
  


“Tsukki...it’s over. She told me that she cares for me but she couldn’t do it anymore. Should I fight for her?”

“If you love someone enough, you should never stop fighting,” 

“Hey Tsukki, I have a plan to get her back but I need some help…don’t laugh because I know this sounds crazy but will you pretend to date me so I can make her jealous?”

“...Sure Kuroo,”


	2. plan set

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi! i hope you enjoy!

“There she is,” Kuroo whispered behind his magazine. “Isn’t she gorgeous?” 

Tsukishima glanced over to the girl. Her long raven black hair gently billowed in the wind as she sat on the bench. Her head was gently bobbing to the rhythm of her music as she soaked in the warm sunlight. Her cheeks were tinged rouge under the cold air, her breaths visible with little puffs of cloudy air. 

“Not really my type but I see why you like her,” Tsukishima said vacantly. He turned back to Kuroo who looked at her with such a dreamy look in his eyes. Her head started to turn towards him and Kuroo immediately hid his face away. The tufts of his hair still peeked out from over the paper. Tsukishima secretly glanced at the girl again, her face exactly mirroring Kuroo’s before she snapped her head away. “She noticed us,” 

“Alright, start the plan,” Kuroo put down the papers, his eyes still trained on her. Tsukishima rolled his eyes but complied. Tsukishima’s hands slightly trembled as he lifted it up, caressing Kuroo’s face gently. Kuroo’s eyes widened but relaxed into his touch, his eyes focused on Tsukishima’s movements. He slowly moved downwards, trailing it down the nape of Kuroo’s neck. Kuroo’s back arched against the light touch, leaning a little closer. Tsukishima’s other hand rested on Kuroo’s forearm, he silently marvelled at how solid Kuroo’s biceps was.

“Hey Tsukki, I can feel your hand trembling, you don’t have to do this,” Kuroo whispered, his pupils a little more dilated as he searched Tsukishima’s face. 

“It’s okay Kuroo,” Tsukishima whispered, crooking his finger under Kuroo’s chin. He looked over to the girl and smirked as he met her eyes. Her face was contorted in anguish as she continued to watch. Tsukishima’s lips were dangerously close to Kuroo’s face, brushing against his skin and leaving sparks in his wake. “Take a bite of the cake,”

Kuroo swallowed roughly and grabbed the spoon. He fumbled a little bit, knocking it against the plate a little too hard. Tsukishima winced at the loud clinking noise but quickly recovered. His mouth felt dry as he watched Kuroo’s pink tongue dart out when he took a bite, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed. Tsukishima made a point to look back at the girl to send a frigid smile her way. He widened his eyes innocently as he brushed his thumb against Kuroo’s chin, turning it to the side before flicking his tongue out to lick the tiny strip of whipped cream that Kuroo left behind. Kuroo tensed under the touch, closing his eyes and throwing his head back as Tsukishima moved away. 

A loud rustling noise shocked both of them out of their tense atmosphere. Kuroo watched as she quickly gathered all of her stuff and speedily walked away. Her head was downcast and her hair covered her face as she walked down the narrow path. 

“Damn Tsukki, you’re a lot more seductive than I thought, I could’ve fallen in love with you right then and there,” Kuroo laughed, punching Tsukishima’s shoulder lightly. 

“Shut up, it was embarrassing,” Tsukishima said begrudgingly, taking the rest of the cake for himself. Kuroo rolled his eyes and swiftly got up from his seat. He planted a hand on Tsukishima’s shoulder, rubbing it gently and leaving there for a second too long to be friendly. 

“Thanks Tsukki!” He said before shooting off in the direction that the girl went in. 

“No problem Kuroo,” Tsukishima sighed as Kuroo slowly disappeared from view. Tsukishima finished the cake fairly quickly, the whipped cream suddenly tasted a little too sour for his taste. He returned the plate and went to his classes, his mind wandering the whole time. He felt exhausted as the day continued, just barely passing his coach’s expectations during practice. He trudged back to his dorm room and was surprised to see Bokuto and Akaashi in there. Kuroo gave him a smile and walked up to him, wrapping his arm around his shoulders.

“Bo, Kaashi, meet my boyfriend!” Kuroo announced, placing a sloppy kiss on his cheek. Bokuto’s mouth gaped open while Akaashi’s face remained as expressionless as possible. Bokuto’s eyes sparkled as he met Tsukishima’s, twisting into an expression filled with so much happiness it almost sickened Tsukishima. Akaashi opened his mouth to comment but Tsukishima spoke first. He pushed Kuroo off with a grumble.

“Fake boyfriend,” Tsukishima corrected, he grimaced at the way the words tasted in his mouth. He placed his bags down near his bed and grabbed his headphones. He blasted a song and closed his eyes, trying to ignore the muffled conversation that was enfolding. 

“You should’ve seen Tsukki in action,” Kuroo laughed as he looked at the blond triumphantly, “She was so jealous,”

“What did he do?” Bokuto asked. His smile was too forced to be natural as he glanced over Tsukishima who was already asleep. His hand tightened around his armrest as Kuroo relayed the story to them. Akaashi placed his hand over Bokuto’s arm and shook his head at him. He pressed his lips in a thin line, his hands shook with anger but he didn’t say a single word. It wasn’t his secret to tell. 

“Look at that! She’s already texting me!” Kuroo finally turned back around to them, waving his phone in front of the duo’s face. 

“Hey Kuroo, why did you even start this plan? Is Tsukishima even comfortable with this?” Akaashi asked. Kuroo typed a little more before pausing, hovering his thumb over the screen.

“I really like her,” Kuroo smiled at his phone, “Tsukki’s fine with it, I asked him earlier and he was the one who actually told me to fight for her,”

“Ah that’s Tsukki for you,” Bokuto smiled, his eyes pained as he looked at the blond. “Hey Kuroo...please don’t mess this up,” 

“Ah of course not! I let her go once, I don’t plan on doing it again,” Kuroo winked as he jumped onto his bed, still furiously typing away. Akaashi bit his tongue harshly before standing up. He lightly brushed over Tsukishima’s arm, sighing softly at the way the blond instinctively leaned into the touch. 

“Good luck,” He said before leaving the room. Bokuto patted Kuroo’s leg before walking up to Tsukishima, gently lifting the glasses off of his face and placing on his dresser. He gave a quiet goodbye and closed the door behind him. Kuroo shifted on his bed, finding a comfortable position before glancing over at the blond. He sighed and placed his phone down, flopping onto his back to stare at the ceiling. 

“Hey Tsukki, can you hear me?” Kuroo asked before chuckling lowly, “Of course not, you’re sleeping,”

He held up his hand to the ceiling, tracing patterns and shapes into the air. 

“I know it’s hard for you to show emotions, especially for someone like me, so thank you. I know this seems silly but maybe this’ll work out for both of us? Like practice for when you fall in love too...huh, you in love. I don’t think I’ve ever thought of you doing something like that. Whoever you fall in love with, I hope that I’m still there to meet them,” Kuroo mused, dropping his hand to his chest. He didn’t speak anymore after that. He just closed his eyes and allowed the steady rhythm of Tsukishima’s breathing to lull him to sleep.

Tsukishima rolled over onto his side, his back faced Kuroo. The older boy didn’t notice the lack of music from his headphones. 

-

“Alright she’ll be walking here soon,” Kuroo said, licking his lips in excitement. “Get ready,”

“I think I know what I’m doing,” Tsukishima snorted, strapping on his rollerblades, “I still think this is a terrible plan,”

“This used to be our thing, she’s going to get so mad, okay go,” Kuroo whispered, skating a little more ahead of him. He watched as a tiny figure turned a corner. 

“Tetsu, I don’t know how to skate,” Tsukishima pouted, raising his voice so the girl could hear. She ignored the two of them, settling down by a tree. He wobbled a little as he moved forwards, exaggerating the movement. Kuroo skated back up to him and grabbed both of his hands, pulling him up to his full height. Tsukishima’s face burned red as Kuroo rubbed circles on his forearms, gesturing for him to relax. Kuroo moved to his side, gently guiding him forwards. They laughed as Tsukishima stumbled a little more. Kuroo pretended to let go, coaxing a yelp from the blond.

They skated together a little more, earning coos from the people around them. A few came up to ask them where they had gotten the rollerskates, scheduling their own roller skating dates. Tsukishima felt awkward under all the attention but Kuroo smiled so widely, happily chattering away with everyone. He tried to move to his side but his wheel got caught over a rock, he felt his feet fly out from under him. He threw out his hands to catch himself but it only resulted in his palms getting scratched badly. 

“Shit Tsukki,” Kuroo said as he knelt down, “You gotta be more careful,”

“Gee thanks, I’ll try to remember that next time I want to fall,” Tsukishima hissed back. He gently wiped his palms on his jeans, staining it slightly with his blood. He checked his knees, it was in a worse state than his hands. He moved away the strings that covered the rip and winced, he could see the first layer of meat as it bled. Kuroo quickly pulled him up and guided him to a bench. He forced Tsukishima to sit down as he knelt before him, ruffling through his bag for a spare cloth. 

“It’s pretty bad, I think the only thing that’ll cure you is a kiss,” Kuroo joked. A few of the stragglers around them rolled their eyes at his antics.

“Aw don’t make him so flustered!” One of the girls teased, pointing out Tsukishima’s red ear tips. Kuroo laughed at the sight before pouring water over his cut and tying the cloth tightly around it. Kuroo left his hand on his inner thigh, tracing circles to soothe him. Tsukishima twisted his lips into a frown, knowing that he was just doing it for appearances. He almost pulled away from the touch. 

“Tsukki, does it hurt at all?” Kuroo’s voice was serious as he examined the cut again. His face looked slightly guilty as he glanced back up at the blond. Tsukishima swallowed roughly before leaning closer and placing a finger under his chin.

“Not while you’re here,” Tsukishima murmured, earning a flustered response from Kuroo. He laughed at how nervous the brunette had gotten so quickly. His eyes softened as Kuroo continued to spout gibberish, wringing his hands in front of him nervously. 

“Aw I wish someone looked at me like that,” A passerby whined, staring at Tsukishima longingly. His cheeks flushed as he looked at the ground. He fiddled his fingers nervously, embarrassed at the way he’d been caught so blatantly. “Oops, was I that loud?”

“Nah you’re fine, he’s just a little shy,” Kuroo laughed, pressing a delicate kiss on the corner of his mouth. Tsukishima sputtered a response, his lips twisting into a pout as he pushed Kuroo away. The people around them laughed at their interaction before slowly dispersing.

Tsukishima felt a pair of eyes burning into his back and looked back to see her lips curled in a snarl. She jumped up from where she was sitting, aggressively stuffing her items into her bag and leaving promptly. 

“Alright, plan successful!” Kuroo cheered quietly. “I’ll see you around!” 

“Hey wait―” Tsukishima held out a hand.

“I’ll totally pay you back for your injury I promise! Just um, put some hydrogen peroxide on it and you’ll be fine!” He looked around to see if anyone was still watching him before skating away to catch up to her. Tsukishima sighed and dropped his hands back onto his lap. He tried to curl his hands into a fist but it only opened his cuts wider.

His lips twisted in frustation before he violently shrugged off the skates. He placed it inside of his bag and put on his regular shoes. Tsukishima retied the cloth around his knees and aired out his palms. He placed his headphones back on, humming to himself as he walked back to the dorms all by himself.

Tsukishima was about to enter his dorm room when a hand caught his. He recoiled from the touch and sneered at the person who interrupted him. 

“Suna,” He acknowledged, keeping his face neutral to the older boy. 

“Hey Tsukishima,” Suna smiled, leaning against the wall. “A couple of the team are heading out to a party, wanna come?”

“Not really a party person, obviously,” Tsukishima forced a smile as he reached for the door knob again. 

“Wait!” Suna said a little too loudly. He sheepishly took a step back, his eyes looking everywhere but Tsukishima’s face. “Um, I’m not really one too but if you go then I’ll feel a lot better,”

“I don’t usually make people better about themselves,” Tsukishima said warily, crossing his arms across his chest. 

“One of your best qualities in my opinion,” Suna chuckled, “If I stay with you the whole time no one will bother me,” 

“Ah great, I’d love to help you avoid people but I’m busy,”

“Please?” Tsukishima blanched and looked at Suna. His eyebrows furrowed as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. The brunet’s demeanor was completely different from usual, his lips burned red as though he’d been biting it for hours. Tsukishima hid his wince as Suna wrung out his hands and popped his knuckles loudly. 

“...Fine,” Tsukishima finally conceded. Suna blinked in surprise, he tilted his head almost as if he misheard the words, “Don’t look like that it’s creepy,”

“Whatever, I’ll come here around seven,”

“Just text me the address,” 

“No way, you might flake on me. I’ll come pick you up,” Suna smiled before waving and walking away. Tsukishima sighed as he lumbered into his room. He’d been hoping for a quiet evening by himself but he didn’t mind a distraction. Tsukishima bided his time with his homework, he was far behind on his paper due to Kuroo’s schemes. He was in the middle of his conclusion when the door swung open. 

“Tsukki! I think it’s working! She asked me to go to a party with her today!” Kuroo sighed dreamily as he spun and flopped onto his bed. “Just a little more,”

“That’s great Kuroo, I’m happy to help,” Tsukishima deadpanned, accidentally typing the same sentence twice. He clicked his tongue and deleted it with a glare. Kuroo got back up and hugged him from behind, Tsukishima could feel his heartbeat against his back as Kuroo pulled him closer. He leaned into Kuroo’s strong arms, feeling the muscles flex as it tightened around him.

“Thank you very much my very lovely boyfriend!” Kuroo said mockingly, pressing another kiss to Tsukishima’s cheek. “So don’t wait for me tonight,”

“Actually I’m going out too,” Tsukishima said as he wiped away any remnants of Kuroo’s spit. 

“Oh really? Are you going out with Yamaguchi again?”

“No, uh, Suna invited me to a party today,” Tsukishima said as he finished the essay. He sighed in relief as he deleted all of his tabs and closed his laptop. He heard Kuroo click his tongue but chose to ignore it. He heard Kuroo shuffle around behind him, the floorboards creaked loudly under his weight. 

“Suna? Why are you talking to him?” Kuroo asked, his disdain audible in his words. Tsukishima frowned and turned around to look at him.

“I can talk to whoever I want, what’s your problem Kuroo?” Tsukishima asked him, a little bite in his tone. 

“No problem, it’s just...I don’t like him,” 

“He seems fine to me, I’m only there to keep him company so that no one bothers us,”

“So it’ll just be you two?” 

“Pretty much,” Tsukishima said as he stood up to go to his closet. “Hey, help me pick out an outfit,”

“Since when do you care about how you look?” 

“Since I’m going to a party with people I don’t like,” Tsukishima rolled his eyes as he chose a thin black long sleeve shirt. He peeled out his current shirt, his shoulder blades flexed as he pulled on the new shirt. Kuroo averted his eyes and twiddled his fingers, contemplating his next words. 

“Where is it?”

“Uh, Suna said that it would be at that one frat house with the birdbath that they stole from the greenhouse,”

“Maybe I should go to the party too then, keep you guys company,”

“What? No,” Tsukishima’s lips curled as he spoke. He wondered why he had such a strong reaction to the word.

“Why not?” Kuroo narrowed his eyes at the blond. Tsukishima didn’t answer for a second. He hummed in thought as he looked at himself in the mirror. He played with the stray strings on his black jeans, the rips on his knees giving the outfit a little more edge.

The blood was barely visible anymore, his knees still stung but the red had dulled. He paired it with a gold necklace and slipped a heavy set ring onto his right hand.

“Because you have plans with your ex, remember?” 

“Well, I’ll bring her too,” 

“Bring her? To a party with your fake boyfriend? Real clever,”

“She―” A knock at the door at the door interrupted them. Tsukishima sneered at the older boy as he strode up to the door, unceremoniously opening it. Suna stumbled forward a little as the door swung out from under him. He awkwardly cleared his throat and stood back up. He offered Kuroo a small smile before looking at Tsukishima. His eyes glimmered with approval as he looked over his body.

“Wow,” Suna whistled, “You clean up well,”

“I changed a shirt, feel free to fawn over me,” Tsukishima said sarcastically. Kuroo frowned and peeked through the door to look at Suna. He had changed into a simple white tee that showed off his slim figure with a thin jacket wrapped around his waist.

“Wait, let me just,” Suna reached out and ran his fingers through Tsukishima’s hair, messing it up a little bit. Tsukishima sighed at the feeling and bent down a little so he could do it better. Suna bit his lip as he tugged on one of Tsukishima’s curls, pulling it over his eyes. “Perfect,”

“Don’t stay out too long,” Kuroo grunted, staring daggers at Suna. Tsukishima sighed and grabbed Suna’s hands, pulling him away from the door.

“Yes dad,” Tsukishima mocked as they started walking away.

“Is he mad or something?” Suna’s voice grew distant. 

“No, just ignore him already,” Tsukishima replied faintly. Kuroo peeked his head through the doorway, watching the two boys walk away. He noticed that as they grew smaller and smaller, Tsukishima never let go. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for making it to the end, tada!


	3. i'm glad i'm here with you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first chapter that has been beta read! thank you mxjuliedawn!! :)) 
> 
> tw// slight homophobia 
> 
> enjoy the story!

Tsukishima’s head was already pounding from the noise and he was still only one block away. He pulled on his necklace out of habit, fidgeting with the chain nervously as he imagined how terrible the night was about to be. 

“Ready to hide out in a corner for the rest of the night?” Suna sighed as he kicked away a rock. 

“Maybe if we’re lucky, some drunk guy will vomit on us and we can leave even earlier,” Tsukishima deadpanned. Suna barked out a laugh, imagining how the blond would react if that actually happened. Tsukishima quirked an eyebrow at him, finding himself smiling along to the sound of his laughter. Suna stopped slightly, taken by surprise by the smile on Tsukishima’s face, before picking up the pace.

Tsukishima exaggeratedly dragged his feet along the concrete in response, making it a point to go slow. Suna clicked his tongue at the blond, tugging him even harder. Tsukishima jolted at the sudden motion but quickly recovered, planting himself on the spot and refusing to move. The other boy rolled his eyes at his antics but Tsukishima just continued to stare at him, his eyes stubbornly challenging him to do something. Suna sighed and tightened his hold on their hands.

“What are you―”

“Ready? Go!” Suna cackled, sprinting full force towards the party. Tsukishima yelped and had no choice but to follow suit. Tsukishima tried to jab at Suna with his free hand but the other boy swiftly avoided the attempts, twisting and turning his torso dramatically. They ran through giant bushes, spitting out the leaves and bugs that flew into their mouths. Tsukishima was gasping by the time they reached the doorsteps, he unlinked their hands and shoved Suna harshly in retaliation. He winced at the cuts on his palms and subtly fanned it out, hiding the motions behind him.

Suna rolled his eyes at Tsukishima’s sour expression as he struggled to catch his breath. After Suna deemed them both fully recovered, meaning breathing normally and sweat-free, he knocked on the door. Suna frowned at the lack of anyone answering the door and tried again but no one came to open it. He grabbed the doorknob and opened it for Tsukishima, waiting behind it so that the blond could enter first. Tsukishima muttered a thank you and immediately grimaced at the scene.

Bodies were practically fused together as they all moved to the rhythm of the music, a few people bobbed out of beat but they stood on the sides. The heat was blistering inside of the house, almost increasing the underlying stench of body odor. The sharp scent of alcohol barely managed to overpower the smell of sweat, all stemming from the multitudes of empty cans and bottles strewn across any open space in the house. The lights flickered dimly over the writhing crowd, painting them in alternating flashes of neon reds, yellows, and blues. 

Tsukishima left almost immediately but he remembered that he was there for Suna. He grit his teeth and grabbed Suna’s forearm, pulling him further inside. Suna quickly followed suit, both of them knocked shoulders with the partygoers as they struggled to make it through. They managed to make it to one of the more calm areas in the farther back where the fluorescent lights didn't reach. 

It was furnished with a circle of couches that looked as though they hadn't been cleaned in months. The couches were a grimy green that was covered in crumbs and stains that Tsukishima didn’t bother trying to examine. Tsukishima choked back an exaggerated gag, looking at Suna with eyes that pleaded for them to just leave. If Suna noticed the look, he didn’t bother responding to it. He just continued to make their way towards the area. 

Tsukishima looked back at the crowd to see a grind circle forming and sighed. At least it was more peaceful there, key word being _more_ , albeit it was mainly where the couples were sitting. He really didn’t want to be around people who seemed like they were trying to do everything but have sex in public; their lewd, wet pops could be heard from a couple feet away. He plopped himself on the couch and closed his eyes, hoping to take away some of the pain in his temples. Suna offered to go get them drinks, quickly losing himself in the crowd of bodies.

“Tsukki?” A voice asked. Tsukishima opened his eyes to see Bokuto and Akaashi sitting across from him.

“What are you guys doing here?” He asked.

“I’m on the volleyball team too you know?” Bokuto laughed, “Where’s Kuroo?” 

“At another party with his ex, um, Yuki,” Tsukishima recalled, snapping his fingers. He immediately grimaced, hating the way her name rolled off his tongue. Maybe a better name for her would be Girl Who Decided to Live Far Far Away.

“Wait, so you’re at a party by yourself?” Akaashi asked incredulously. 

“No, I’m with a friend,” He craned his neck to see if Suna had come back yet. 

“Hey Tsukki,” Tsukishima turned back to see Bokuto’s face suddenly contorted in a sad expression. Bokuto’s days of his emo mode were long forgotten, left behind with his high school immaturity, so Tsukishima knew it was serious. “What are you doing?” 

“Trying to enjoy a party,” He replied drily, earning an exasperated look from the duo.

“No, with Kuroo. What are you doing?” 

“I’m helping a friend, you would do the same.”

“Sure,” Bokuto exaggerated the word, “because it’s Kuroo and I haven’t been hiding my feelings for the guy for years,” 

“The day I admit any type of feelings for _Kuroo_ is the day that I compliment Hinata,” Tsukishima snorted, trying to sound indifferent. Bokuto knew better than to take his words at face value. He wasn’t as dumb as everyone said he was―he was just smarter at things that couldn’t be put on a test. Bokuto had always found himself understanding the way people behaved and connected it to how they were feeling. He’d spent years observing people so that he could figure out how to get people to like him. As a result, he noticed everything. When Tsukishima spoke that sentence, the tiniest tremor in the corner of lips betrayed him without a single sound. Bokuto saw the way he jutted his chin out, fully set in his stubbornness and willful ignorance. 

“There’s no use, anyway,” They both thought to themselves, “Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.”

“Tsukishi―” Akaashi leaned forward, but he was held back by Bokuto’s hand on his thigh.

“Don’t regret it,” Bokuto stared in Tsukishima’s eyes. Tsukishima’s expression was completely blank as he stared back, but after years of knowing him, Bokuto could read him like a book. He didn’t need to say anymore.

“Hey, I figured you didn’t want too much so I just got us strawberry daiquiris,” Suna said, interrupting the tension. He looked at Tsukishima, noticing the way Tsukishima wrung his hands nervously in front of him. Suna’s eyes flickered between Bokuto's intense staring and Akaashi’s conflicted expression.“You okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Tsukishima mumbled as he took the cup out of Suna’s hand and gulped it all down. The alcohol slightly burned his throat, but it left a tingling sensation in his mouth and stomach that he desperately needed. “I thought we were supposed to be ignoring everyone.”

Suna clicked his tongue at him before immediately settling on the cushion next to him, discreetly trying to avoid a big stain on his left. With all the couples surrounding them, they were squeezed very closely together. Tsukishima scowled as Suna writhed on his side, trying to find a way to sit comfortably. Maybe it was Tsukishima’s own way of rebelling against Bokuto’s words or maybe it was him trying to prove something to himself. He placed a palm on the small of Suna’s back and shifted him onto his lap.

“What are you doing?” Suna asked nervously, twisting his torso to look at Tsukishima. “People here might get the wrong idea.” Tsukishima simply chuckled, drinking the rest of his drink before leaning in to speak in Suna’s ear. His hot breath fanned over the side of his face, sending shivers down the brunette’s spine.

“What people?” He smirked, his pink tongue languidly stroking his bottom lip. His eyes never left Suna’s as he slowly leaned over his body to grab Suna’s drink. Tsukishima pressed the lip of the cup against Suna’s mouth and tilted it. Suna’s lips parted instinctively, his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. Suna’s eyes followed his hand as Tsukishima moved the cup away from him. He twisted it until the part where Suna drank from faced him and drank from the same spot. Suna bit back a whine as he watched Tsukishima drink the rest of it, a tiny bead of sweat trailed down his jawline from the overwhelming heat. 

Not one to be left behind, Suna leaned in and exhaled, his breath tantalizing hot against Tsukishima’s skin. Tsukishima’s shoulders relaxed as he leaned back, shifting his face to the side to show more of his neck. Suna immediately took advantage of the movement. He pressed a soft kiss against his throat, gently sucking on the junction where his neck and shoulder met, leaving dark red spots along his pale flesh. Tsukishima moaned a little louder than he expected when he felt Suna’s teeth graze against one of the newly forming hickeys, adding to its sensitivity. 

“What people?” Suna repeated as he pulled away, licking his lips and looking at Tsukishima with half lidded eyes. Tsukishima managed to tear his eyes away to look at Bokuto again, smirking while subtly gesturing towards Suna. Bokuto just ignored Tsukishima in favor of drinking another red SOLO cup filled with another unknown blend of alcohol. The blond just clicked his tongue at their disappointing glares and turned his attention back to Suna. 

Tsukishima hummed as he wrapped an arm around Suna’s body, rubbing circles on his forearms. The music turned into some kind of trap music that sounded like daggers in Tsukishima’s ears. He quickly pulled out his own phone and set of earbuds, placing it in his ear and setting up one of his playlists. He felt someone pluck one out of ears and turned, Suna held it up playfully and put it in his own ear. Tsukishima rolled his eyes and pressed play. He started out with high tempo music, playing pop and western songs.

“[ Vowels (And the Importance of Being Me) ](https://youtu.be/jumdlu8D-Lc),” He said loudly into Suna’s open ear, letting the upbeat tempo play out. Suna buried himself into Tsukishima’s chest, nodding his head to the rhythm. A few people almost came up to the two boys, drink in hand and a malicious smile on their face. Suna’s eyes were closed as he relaxed into Tsukishima’s body so Tsukishima took up his role as a detractor. He barely even needed to speak, just one glare and they would turn tail and run. It wasn’t as though he didn’t hear the quiet murmurings around them. Luckily they were more directed to him rather than Bokuto and Akaashi; he would take the whispers every time if it meant that his friends wouldn’t have to deal with it. 

“They’re gay?”

“I knew something was off about that blond kid,”

“Of course they’re gay, no girl would want someone like them,”

“They’re probably just faking it, they love to rile people up anyways,”

“I support the LGBTQ+ community but… do they have to do it in front of everyone?” That comment stung a little as he tried to look for the person who said it. He shifted uncomfortably, suddenly way too hot and all too aware of the sets of eyes on him. As if Suna could sense his discomfort, he placed a palm on Tsukishima’s chest.

“Hey, this party blows. Let’s get out of here,” Suna whispered into his ear. Tsukishima didn’t need any further convincing.The noise and sounds were starting to get overwhelming, anyway. He had the idea that if they left, they wouldn’t miss anything at all. He pulled his earphones away and wrapped them around his phone, shoving it back into his pocket. Suna got off of him, his legs wobbling from disuse and a slight buzz. Tsukishima gave him some time to stretch out his legs before following suit. He said goodbye to Akaashi and Bokuto, pointedly ignoring their prying eyes, as he made his escape. Before he left the house, he snagged a bottle of Fireball and hid it under his shirt. 

“So where are we going?” Tsukishima asked when they were far from the house. Both boys struggled to stay upright on the sidewalk, tripping over little thing that crossed their path. It was filled with cracks and rocks due to the wear and tear that comes with being near such a popular fraternity. 

“You don’t want to go back to your dorm?” Tsukishima laughed at his confusion, knowing full well that he wasn’t acting like his normal self.

“Nah, I think I’m having too much fun to go back so soon.” Tsukishima smirked at him. “Besides…” He brought out the bottle and shook it in front of Suna’s face.

“Tsukishima Kei, you never stop surprising me.” Suna shook his head as he took the bottle and sipped a little. He grimaced at the burning in his throat and coughed a little. Tsukishima patted him on his back to help him out, stealing away the bottle for himself. “So, where did you want to go?”

Tsukishima’s smile wavered for a second as he looked at Suna. They stopped in the middle of the crosswalk, the dim yellow light of the streetlamps just barely lighting up their faces. Suna’s face looked distorted under the shadows; his eyebags looked a little too dark and his eyes seemed to veer on molten gold rather than its usual yellow. He suddenly found himself back in Hinata’s stuffy old house that barely held all of the teams in the living room. Suna’s piercing eyes and spiked hair reminded him of a certain blurred blob that was all too invested during that night. 

Tsukishima held out his hand which Suna swiftly took. His hand was still slightly sweaty from being in that packed house all night, but Tsukishima didn’t mind. They had the same calluses and crooked fingers from playing volleyball for so long, matching up perfectly. Tsukishima’s fingers were a lot longer, wrapping around the entirety of Suna’s hand.

“Wherever the night takes us.”

“So fucking cheesy...I love it,” Suna laughed as he swung their adjoined hands around.

Tsukishima sucked in a deep breath of the night air, enjoying the way he could feel it travel down his scratchy throat and fill his lungs. Suna smiled and mimicked his action, trying hard to feel what Tsukishima felt. 

As they walked they didn’t bother plugging the earphones back in. The phone was tucked carefully into Tsukishima’s back pocket, the volume wasn’t loud enough to wake up the neighborhood, but it was enough that any attempts for conversation would be in vain. They traded the bottle back and forth, Tsukishima took bigger drinks while Suna was content with tinier sips. 

They opted to not take their previous path, the towering trees and rocky path was more than enough to convince them. Instead they walked along the road, the asphalt painted a dirty yellow from the cheap streetlights. At various times one of them would point out something to gawk at or people that they, not so secretly, made fun of.

They walked around for ten minutes before a flash of color and tiny plastic dinosaurs caught his eyes. As he walked closer, a playground came into view. It looked abandoned, covered in moss and seconds away from falling apart. 

“Oh my god, a playground,” Tsukishima laughed, his words slightly slurred as he tugged Suna along. Suna grinned and ran faster towards the playground. He quickly clambered up the rope ladder. Tsukishima trailed behind, his long legs suddenly a lot less graceful than usual. 

“I! Am the king of this playground!” Suna yelled as loud as he could before his eyes widened as he looked down at Tsukishima, “Dude quiet, people are trying to sleep,”  
  
“Shut up, you’re wasted,” Tsukishima laughed as he tried to climb his way up.

“I’m bussed,” Suna laughed as he slurred his words, “Buzzed! I mean buzzed!”

“Whatever you say, light weight,” Tsukishima snorted as he reached the top of the ladder. Suna smirked at him and pushed him roughly. Tsukishima grunted as he hit the floor, his landing was softened by the mulch. “What was that?!”

“I am the king! And people who insult the king will not be able to enter my kingdom!” Suna announced seriously before bursting in giggles.

“Oh gracious king, please accept my humble apologies,” Tsukishima stumbled as he attempted an off balance curtsy. Suna threw a pinecone at him in mock anger.

“I do not accept! Where are my offerings?” 

“I can offer you this almost empty whiskey bottle,”

“Scoundrel! I deny your entry,”

“God, you’re so weird when you’re drunk,”

“Silence!”

“Well then, the entire floor is my kingdom, so you can’t enter my kingdom either,” Tsukishima stuck out his tongue childishly. The scene was almost comical. The two boys stood, glaring at each other from their respective positions. They moved their bodies, chucking pine cones as if they were grenades, trying to juke the other out while protecting their ‘kingdoms’.

“I declare war!’ Suna shouted, taking his jacket off to use as a shield. Tsukishima yelped as Suna assaulted him with another barrage of pine cones. He opened his mouth to shout something but Suna managed to shoot one directly inside of it. Tsukishima spat it out and turned off the music, shoving it back inside of his pocket.

“Oh you’re going to get it now,” Tsukishima smirked as he grabbed fistfuls of mulch. He catapulted it over, spraying Suna with dirt and wood chips. Suna shrieked as he dodged the incoming attacks, very poorly hiding himself behind a pole. Tsukishima kept blasting him with mulch, taking advantage of Suna’s very poor coordination. 

Suna dusted off his shirt and shook his head to get the mulch out of his hair. He stumbled a little when the floor started spinning, but he managed to stay upright. He looked around warily, the noise of the cicadas chirping a little too loud for comfort.

“Tsukishima?” He asked warily, slowly creeping around the playground. The rusty metal creaked under his weight as he snuck around. He paused near the slide to look over the hood and squinted his eyes to look around. Suddenly a loud sound ricocheted through the air, clanging on the far side. He whipped his head around to look when he felt his feet suddenly fly out from under him. He yelped as he hit the metal platform roughly. A warm hand wrapped around his ankle and before he could say anything, he flew down the slide, landing in a big pile of mulch. 

Tsukishima laughed as he barreled towards the slide, running up to stand on the playground. 

“I am the king now!” He cheered loudly, pointing at Suna who was still disoriented. A throaty laugh ripped out of Suna’s throat as he jumped up and ran up the slide. Tsukishima gasped and flew through the playground, the bridge creaked loudly as he ran. Tsukishima laughed freely as he continued to evade Suna. He swung around a railing only to end up in a tiny enclosed dead end. Suna tackled him immediately, flipping them around as they fell so that Tsukishima would be on top and wouldn’t get hurt. 

Suna let out a loud groan of pain as Tsukishima’s elbow dug into his stomach. Tsukishima sat up, shifting his weight to straddle the older boy. He laughed as he slapped Suna on the chest, earning another exaggerated groan. He felt Suna’s stomach rumble with laughter as he pulled himself off, collapsing against one of the plastic walls. 

“I’m glad that you came with me,” Suna confessed as he followed Tsukishima, knocking shoulders and brushing their legs together. 

“I think...I think I am too,” Tsukishima fiddled with his fingers. He glanced over at Suna. His face was completely relaxed as he leaned against the wall. Tsukishima unconsciously found himself searching for a smirk and sly aureate eyes. Suna opened one of his eyes to look back at him, Tsukishima quickly averted his eyes and ignored the tiny chuckle that came from brunette. He felt his face burn red at being caught and cleared his throat. “I guess you aren’t a bad person to go walking with.”

“Oh? Is that so?” Suna raised an eyebrow in amusement.

“Oh shut up, I just can’t drive at night,” Tsukishima scowled, “Don’t tell anyone that.”

“What a weird thing to keep secret,” Suna mused, “Well, don’t tell anyone, but I really can’t hold my liquor.”

“You don’t say,”

“Shut up, I just hate the taste of it. It’s so nasty,” Suna grimaced. Tsukishima rolled his eyes at his disgusted expression and pulled out his phone again. Suna hummed quietly while Tsukishima flicked through one of his playlists, setting on another western song again. Hozier’s gravelly voice trembled through the air as the faint sounds of a guitar filtered through. 

Tsukishima hummed along the starting tune, this song was always Kuroo’s favorite to hear Tsukishima play. It was a game between them, Kuroo would sing the song in completely different ways while Tsukishima would have to play catch up and figure out how to harmonize with the new notes. He closed his eyes and imagined Kuroo’s lips singing along to the song, the quiet warbling of his rough voice slowly growing sweeter and sweeter with every note. He took a deep breath, inhaling the music, before opening his eyes to look at Suna. The other boy’s head was tilted slightly to the side, listening intently to the song. 

_The same kind of music haunts her bedroom, I'm almost me again, she's almost you_

“The alcohol burns a little at first but it isn’t so bad,” Tsukishima mused as he turned his body towards Suna. The older boy shied away from his touch. His sweaty palms slipped against the railing pole, he let out a sharp yelp as he fell onto his back. He cursed under his breath and was about to get up but was stopped by a hand on his chest. Tsukishima slowly crawled over the older boy, both of them held their breaths as he continued to move. Tsukishima’s left hand was on the ground for support as he hovered over his face, flicking out his pointer finger to tuck under Suna’s chin, tilting it upwards. He opened his eyes when he felt Tsukishima exhale over his face.

“Maybe I just needed another taste,” Suna whispered. Tsukishima licked his lips in anticipation, planting both of his palms on the sides of his face. The faint smell of alcohol stained their breaths as he grew closer. Their noses brushed ever so slightly. Suna jolted at the tiny touch before relaxing, letting his muscles go lax. Tsukishima’s mouth was centimeters away from his, he could feel the heat emanating from the blond’s pink lips.

Tsukishima pulled away slightly, searching his eyes to make sure that Suna actually wanted it. The older boy failed to bite back a moan as he nodded, a little less subtle than what he had been hoping for. Tsukishima’s lips curled into a cruel smirk as he started again.

The kiss was sloppy, both of them slightly off of their target by a couple of centimeters before finally slotting their lips together. Tsukishima’s lips tingled as Suna wrapped his hands around his neck, pulling him deeper. Tsukishima set the pace, keeping his movements slow and languid. Suna didn’t seem to mind, he hummed in contentment as Tsukishima guided the pace. His tongue swiped against Tsukishima’s bottom lip, sending a shiver down his spine and a sudden moan that vibrated through both of the boys. 

Tsukishima pulled apart, slightly panting as the older boy did the same, allowing his neck a break from its uncomfortable position. He smacked his lips together, swiping away any saliva left over. Suna tasted like cheap whiskey and cinnamon, Tsukishima found that he didn’t mind the flavor. He felt the cool night air mix with his hot exhales, slowly infiltrating his throat and lungs. Suna’s eyes were dazed as he licked his lips mindlessly. He grinned as he tasted Tsukishima on his lips, never having enough of the flavor. 

Now that Suna knew that Tsukishima wanted him too, he became a lot bolder with his actions. His movements were filled with confidence as he grabbed Tsukishima again, crashing his lips against him. He swallowed the gasp that escaped Tsukishima’s lips in favor of a low moan as he gripped the blond tighter. Suna loved the sounds that Tsukishima was making, each vibration fueling himself to go farther. He nibbled on his lips and moaned at the reaction it elicited from the usual stoic boy. 

It wasn’t the fireworks that Tsukishima always dreamed of having. There was no desperation in each kiss, no longing looks every time they parted. It was soft and steadfast— each time they parted, there was a silent promise that the next kiss would delve even deeper. 

Tsukishima pulled away and laid next to Suna, tracing abstract shapes into the air. There was a giant hole in the playground, revealing the night sky and the multitudes of stars. His eyes slowly roamed the ceiling, squinting his eyes to read the various scrawling of sharpies and carvings. One caught his eye, the writing was thick and black, heavily contrasting with the playground’s muted colors.

 **KT + TK** **FOREVER** , except the forever was scrawled out in place was a little arrow pointing to a couple words on the side, **more like six months**

Tsukishima snorted at the writing, wondering who those poor saps were and which one ended things first. He continued to read more, a couple were the basic “____ WUZ HEA” but none were all that special. He sang along to the song quietly, letting the lyrics roll over his tongue.

“I can play this song on the violin,” Tsukishima said.

“Cool,”

“I can play this song,” Tsukishima repeated.

“I know, you just said so,”

“I think this is the part where you ask if I can play it for you,” Tsukishima sighed as he dropped his hand onto Suna’s solid chest with a thud. 

“Why don’t you just offer to play it for me?” Suna laughed as he grabbed Tsukishima’s hands, playing with his lithe fingers.

“That’s not how this goes,” Tsukishima pouted slightly, twitching his fingers. “Just say it.”

“Tsukishima, play this song for me?” Suna rolled his eyes as he pressed a soft kiss onto palms, his mouth moving over the scratches Tsukishima got earlier. 

“Well,” Tsukishima sighed exaggeratedly but Suna could feel the smile dancing on his words, “If you insist.”

They moved closer to each other, their bodies molded perfectly against each other. They sat up at times to finish the bottle but always returned to their positions. Tsukishima’s voice started to grow hoarse as he continued to talk, staring at the moon that shined above them.

The moonlight shone a dim spotlight on their intertwined bodies, their legs tangled together as they held each other. He felt his eyelids begin to droop and his sentences started breaking off with yawns. He nuzzled his face the crook of Suna’s neck, biting back a snicker at the way he tensed at the touch. He breathed in deeply, Suna smelled like sweat and the cool night air, the smell of the whiskey just barely lingering on his body. 

Tsukishima pulled away with a deep exhale and looked again at the older boy. Maybe it was the alcoholic haze, blatantly messing with his eyes in the cruelest way possible. Tsukishima found that if he squinted in just the right way, he could pretend that instead of Suna’s perfect teeth, he could see canines jutting out. If he managed to shift his head ever so slightly, he could pretend that he saw a pair of dimples on Suna’s unblemished face, with one of them sinking just a little lower than usual.

“Tsukishima...like the moon?” Suna asked, drawing Tsukishima out of his thoughts. 

“Hm, my friends call me Tsukki.”

“Pretty, it suits you. Does that mean that I can call you that now?”

“No.”

“Why n―”

“Kei. You can call me Kei.”

_I wouldn't know where to start "Sweet Music" playing "In The Dark", be still "My Foolish Heart”, don't ruin this on me…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading the chapter! sunatsukki are slightly ooc but i attribute that to alcohol so ;p! i always appreciate any comments and i try to respond! thank you!


	4. the privilege of choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone thank mxjuliedawn for making sense of my late night ramblings :)))! enjoy the update!

Tsukishima was the first one of them to wake—the big hole in the playground ceiling shone a glaring spotlight on his face as the sun rose. He smacked his lips and pulled a face at how the lingering taste of alcohol and his morning breath mixed together. He hazily patted the metal platform below him and found his glasses. He tried to wipe all the smudges on his glasses, but only really succeeded in smearing dirt across the lens. Tsukishima scowled at it, but didn’t have any other choice but to put it on. He glanced over to his left and quickly did a double take. 

“Oh.” Tsukishima said dumbly as he looked at the mess of black hair. He was about to shake the person awake when the body suddenly rolled over, and it wasn’t who he was expecting to see. All at once, the memories from last night flooded into his brain. He remembered the little display he put on in the party, the stupid pinecone fight that they had, and. . . their makeout. “Oh, _shit_!” 

Tsukishima slapped a hand over his mouth when Suna started showing signs of waking up. The rusty metal creaked under his weight as he made his escape, slipping through a gap in the railing. He shielded his eyes from the sun, his adrenaline barely fending off the throbbing pain in his temples. Tsukishima silently thanked the gods above that his hangovers were never as bad as Bokuto’s. He patted his pockets for his phone and pulled it out, only for it to glow a bright red when he pressed the power button. He cursed under his breath and tried to remember which direction he would need to take to go home. 

He was lucky that he hadn’t been too tipsy when they were walking from the frat house to the playground. He’d always had a high tolerance for alcohol. The morning air quickly sobered him up, so at least he didn’t look like a complete idiot. He saw that horribly painted neon yellow house that Drunk Suna pointed out last night and finally remembered where to go, picking up his pace all the way to his dorm. He glared at the college students who stopped in their tracks to stare at him.

The acrid odor of whiskey was heavy on him as he drifted past them. Tsukishima had no doubts that he was probably covered in huge swaths of dirt and mulch, making his once bright, blond hair stick to his forehead in clumps. His clothes were all wrinkled, and somehow, there was a smudge on his forearm that looked vaguely reminiscent of the stains on that green couch.

He jogged up the stairs, slightly stumbling as his legs nearly gave out every other step. He finally caught sight of his dorm room and sighed in relief. He hid his face when more students around him started staring unabashedly and presumably whispering about him. Tsukishima put his hand on the door knob and was about to turn it when it swung open.

“Woah!” Tsukishima stumbled into the room. He closed his eyes and braced for impact, only to crash into a solid chest. He looked up and saw a pair of angry golden eyes. Red tainted the whites of his eyes, a stark contrast to the dark circles surrounding and the puffy bags under his eyes. Kuroo looked as though he hadn’t slept at all, worry furrowing his brow and pulling his lips down in a frown. “Good morning to you too.”

“You reek and you’re covered in shit,” Kuroo growled as he pulled him into the room, slamming the door behind him. 

“Yup, did you know that being drunk will do that to you?” Tsukishima rolled his eyes as he plugged his phone into a charger. Kuroo stalked forwards and spun him around to face him. His hands were gripping his arms so hard Tsukishima thought he was going to bruise. 

“I’ve been calling you all morning,” Kuroo narrowed his eyes at him. Tsukishima scowled and batted his hands away. He rubbed the areas that Kuroo held and glowered at him. 

“My phone was dead, dipshit,” Tsukishima ignored his staring and moved back to grab some clothes and his shower caddy.

“You can’t do that kind of stuff, Tsukki. You _scared_ me,” Tsukishima felt guilt start to rise but refused to cave to Kuroo’s words. 

“No offense, Kuroo, but you do this to me all the time,” Tsukishima tried to get by but Kuroo promptly followed his movement, completely blocking his path.

“Yeah, but I’m always with Bokuto, and I make it a point to text you.”

“Well, I already _told_ you why I didn’t text, and I was with Suna the whole time, so I was fine,” Tsukishima sneered as he marched back to his bed. Kuroo stood over him with his arms crossed on his chest.

“Yeah, I can tell you were with Suna,” Kuroo pointed at the dark hickeys on his neck. Tsukishima instinctively slapped a hand over it to cover it and felt his cheeks burn.

“Well, why do you even care? It’s not your business anyway.” He snapped at Kuroo. 

“You guys really…?”

“Like I said, Kuroo, _not your business_ ,” Tsukishima hissed, ignoring the implications of Kuroo’s words. 

“What was I supposed to do? I knocked on Suna’s door and no one answered!” Kuroo exclaimed exasperatedly as he ran his fingers through his unkempt hair. 

Tsukishima abruptly stood up and angrily prodded the middle of his chest with his pointer finger, “You were checking up on us? Kuroo, you’re overstepping my boundaries.” 

“Well of course I would! You’re my boyfriend!” Kuroo said before he could stop himself. Tsukishima’s lips parted in surprise, not knowing how to respond. Flustered, Kuroo waved his hands in the air and stammered excuses. “Ahem, I just meant, you know, people are going to see you and assume my boyfriend cheated on me,”

“Right.” Tsukishima rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help the disappointment that settled in the pit of his stomach.

“Right,” Kuroo chuckled nervously as he fidgeted with the bottom hem of his shirt, “You know, how are we supposed to make her jealous if she hears about that?”

“You could always spin it into a sob story,” Tsukishima supplied.

“Ah right, a pity date,” Kuroo said sarcastically.

“You’re fake dating me, and _now_ you’re above a pity date?” Tsukishima snorted as he made his way to the door. He looked over his shoulder and looked at Kuroo with slight annoyance before flipping him off and leaving the room.

“Oh shut up, go take a shower,” Kuroo called after him as the door shut. He groaned and flopped on his back, the mattress immediately dipped low under the strain from his body weight. He squeezed his eyes tight and pulled at his hair. “Why did I say that?”

He grabbed his phone and played some music as he stared at the ceiling, memorizing how the shadows looked across the tiny bumps and ridges. 

“Why did I say that? Why did I _say_ that?” Kuroo muttered as he held his arm up, drawing little shapes in the air. “That was so stupid, we’re not even actually dating. Jesus, why was I so mad that he was out with Suna? I was just being a good friend, right?” He clenched his fist and let his arm fall back down onto the bed rather harshly.

“It’s not like I was jealous! I’m not even gay! I mean. . . kind of? Guys are cute, and Tsukishima is definitely attractive. . . does that make me gay for saying that?” Still talking to himself, Kuroo rolled himself across his bed in exasperation. “That’s all subjective though. . . is it weird to say that about a guy? Do I like guys?! I like girls too! What did Akaashi call it? Bicurious? Bisexual? Hell if I know.”

He ended up on his side, clutching a pillow as if it were a lifeline.“‘Dating’ Tsukishima has been so much easier than _actually_ dating Yuki, but that’s because we’ve known each other for so long. It’s kinda like Bo and Kaashi’s relationship. . . Wait! No! Not that way. . . kind of?” He ran one hand through his hair, still musing to himself. “I mean, I always thought he was cute? Does that mean I like him? I hate this. I hate this. I _hate_ this.” Kuroo groaned into a pillow.

He sat up and clicked his phone’s on button. His wallpaper was a photo that Bokuto took of the four of them when they all went to Disneyland. He stared intently at the photo until his phone went back to sleep, and repeated the action ten more times. On the eighth repeat Kuroo noticed that he wasn’t even looking at the camera in the photo; his attention was completely enraptured by Tsukishima. He swallowed roughly and held the phone higher. 

“Let’s try this out.” He took a deep breath, as if he were bracing himself for impact. “Tsukishima, I like y―”

_Ping!_

Kuroo immediately clamped up, thankful but slightly disappointed at the interruption, “What the hell am I doing?” He glanced over at Tsukishima’s side of the room, and saw his phone lighting up. Kuroo cautiously walked over to his bed, watching the door out of the corner of his eye just in case. 

**(From: Suna):** hey cinderella you forgot your earbuds with me

Kuroo’s eye twitched as he reread the message, knowing that Tsukishima would never willingly part with his earphones. 

**(To: Suna):** thx just give it 2 kuroo l8r 

**(From: Suna):** so i won’t get another thank you kiss kei? ;)

“Kei?!” Kuroo muttered as he aggressively mashed Tsukishima’s keyboard.

**(To: Suna):** i have to get 2 class. just give it 2 kuroo. 

**(From: Suna):** so cold ;p see you at practice

Kuroo scowled at the text and deleted the evidence before placing his phone back in its place. Fortunately, he made it back to his bed seconds before Tsukishima came back inside. 

“You better hurry, I hear Professor Sato is having a pop quiz,” Kuroo clicked his tongue as Tsukishima rummaged through his drawers.

“Yeah, I just can’t find my earphones,” Tsukishima frowned as he grabbed his jeans he wore last night and checked the pockets, “If you find them, can you just hold them for me? I really need to go.”

“Yeah yeah, I got you,” Kuroo waved bye as Tsukishima walked out the door. “You forgot your pho--” Tsukishima was already too far to hear him.

Kuroo watched the direction Tsukishima was for a little while longer, waiting for a flash of his blonde hair to pop back up, but it never did. He closed the door behind him and saw his own phone lighting up. 

**(From: Bokuto):** !!!!!! EMERGENCY SCIENCE TUTORING NEEDED!!!!!!!

**(From: Bokuto):** NEED TO PICK THAT GLORIOUS GLORIOUS BRAIN OF YOURS!!!!!!!

**(To: Bokuto):** regular payment needed

**(From: Bokuto):** FINE FINE GET OVER HERE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“No rest for the wicked,” Kuroo whistled as he shoved his phone into his pocket and walked to the cafe where they were waiting. The route he was taking took a little longer than usual, but it was a lot more scenic than the usual path he took. He hummed as he passed by a music store, but faltered in his step when something caught his eye. He checked the time and shrugged, he can’t be late twice.

The doorbell jingled, signalling his arrival as he swung the door open. The employees gave him a little wave as he made his way through. He grabbed the box he saw through the window and was about to go to the register when a small head of hair distracted him.

“Ah Yuki!” Kuroo said to the tiny girl across the aisle. She looked up from her cd and waved awkwardly at Kuroo. 

“Hey, what’s up Kuroo?” She smiled sheepishly as he walked up to her. 

“I was just grabbing this,” Kuroo shook the box lightly.

“Ah for your. . . you know?”

“Yup!” He thought of how happy it was going to make Tsukishima, and couldn’t help the goofy smile on his face, “It’s a little expensive, but Tsukki’s worth it!”

“That’s good, I didn’t think he was your _type_ ,” Yuki fidgeted with her CD as they walked up to another aisle.

“Ah yeah, he’s a little rough around the edges to new people, but he’s awesome.”

“No that’s not what I―” Yuki bit her tongue, not wanting to explain what she really meant. “Hm, what’s he like with you then?”

“It’s kind of hard to describe,” Kuroo chuckled as they stopped in front of a rack filled with cute accessories, “He’s like a complete enigma! He’s not hot-headed, but say one thing and he’ll pounce on you the first chance he gets. He acts so cool in front of everyone, but in reality he’s a huge, _huge_ nerd!”

“I can see that,” Yuki giggled, “Maybe I should’ve made a better effort at getting to know your friends,” 

“Eh I don’t blame you. He's a hard guy to crack.”

“Still, he seems like he’d be a good person to know,” Yuki gestured for him to walk ahead of her as they made their way to a self checkout counter. “So, how much of a nerd is he?”

“Oh god, don’t get me started. When we were in high school, he always demanded that we have a ‘routine’ for good luck. Can you believe that? This guy who’s completely obsessed with cold hard facts wanted luck. It doesn’t sound like him at _all_.”

“Maybe he did it for you. You always loved black cats a little _too_ much.” 

“No, he knows that I actually prefer dogs more,” Kuroo corrected. Yuki’s smile wavered for a second but she gestured for him to go on. 

“So anyway, before either of us had a really important match, we’d go out and buy a tiny charm for each other.”

“Ah, the classic ‘ _Certain Victory_ ’?” 

“Actually no, Tsukki said that those were too common for that to work for us, so we’d buy something that reminded us of each other and we’d write it ourselves,” Kuroo’s smile grew wider as he pulled his phone out. He pointed to the little green dinosaur charm attached to the corner of his phone as he beamed at Yuki .“This was the one he gave me before the Battle of the Garbage Dump.”

“You guys fought at a dumpster?” Yuki snickered at the name. Kuroo pouted and knocked shoulders with her.

“Nah, our school used to be volleyball rivals and that’s what they called it whenever we went against each other, but Tsukki’s school lost their standing for a while. When they finally made it to Nationals, the match was a _huge_ deal.”

“So, what’s that charm for?”

Kuroo’s eyes glimmered as he flipped the dinosaur around. In neat, but thick, black handwriting, it read:

_Fork and Knife_

Yuki looked at him confusedly and he burst out laughing at her expression as he shoved the phone back in his pocket. 

“I thought the same thing! So I immediately called him up, and the kid has the _audacity_ to say ‘So you don’t choke on my dust!’” Kuroo wiped a tear away from his eye. Yuki couldn't help but smile along at his content sigh. She bit her lip and steeled herself.

“Did you ever talk about me like that?” Kuroo abruptly dropped his smile and Yuki’s smile turned somber as she stared at Kuroo. His lips moved to say something but no sound came out of his mouth. “Right…”

Yuki looked down and tightened her grip on the plastic bag. She started to turn around when Kuroo suddenly jumped into motion and grabbed her arm. 

“I talked about you all the time!” 

“You never talked about me like you did with _him_.”

“That’s not true,” Kuroo panicked, looking around as he tried to figure out what to say to make her stay, but she was already shrugging him off. 

“Listen, I’m proud of you for coming out, but it’s not fair for you to use me as a beard and then act like you have feelings for me when you _know_ I still like you. You obviously like him, a lot, so do me a favor and just. . . let me go,”

“Wait! I’m not gay though!” Kuroo rushed out, he cringed at how loud he spoke but staunchly stared at her. Yuki narrowed her eyes at him and quirked an eyebrow.

“...But you’re dating a guy.” 

“It’s a little more complicated than that?” Kuroo bit the inside of his cheek as he struggled to find the words. He still wasn’t exactly sure how to describe his sexuality yet; he knew that he wanted Yuki, but didn’t exactly understand what was going on with his feelings with Tsukishima. He suddenly found himself wishing that he paid more attention to that girl with the bullhorn who was constantly preaching in the quad about all of that. For now, he just settled for his truth, “I’m still in love with you.”

“. . . But you’re dating. . . a _guy_ ,” Yuki repeated herself. Kuroo let out a frustrated groan and tugged his hair. 

“It’s. . . it’s―”

“Complicated,” Yuki finished for him, her voice cracking a little as she shifted her gaze out the window.

“I know for a fact that I’m in love with you, Yuki. You feel the same way, so why don’t we just get back together already?” 

“I want to get back together,” Yuki confessed, “but not if it’s how it was before. I can’t have you distracting me again. School comes first.”

“I promise, I’ll be better,” Kuroo immediately cut in.

“I…” Yuki took a deep breath and looked into Kuroo’s eyes, “I also want you to figure out what’s confusing you. I won’t be a second choice, and I won’t fight over someone that won’t love me back.”

“I’m already in lo―” Yuki sternly silenced him with a glare. 

“And if we do, I don’t know if I’ll be comfortable with you still being friends with him.”

“Wait a minute,” Kuroo frowned, “He’s still one of my oldest friends.”

“I’m being more than understanding right now, Kuroo,” She said with a hint of warning in her tone, “I have my pride and losing you to a _guy_ is not helping. I’m not going to wait forever for you to figure out your answer,” She twisted her lips and looked at Kuroo fiercely before walking out of the store. The doorbell jingled loudly as the door slammed behind her slightly shocking Kuroo out of his stupor. 

“Ah. . . shit,” Kuroo swore under his breath as he ran his fingers through his hair. He looked back down and examined the box he was holding. He bit his lips and thought about what Yuki said. Kuroo was so distracted he didn’t even hear the footsteps approaching him. He nearly jumped when he felt a hand touch his shoulder. 

“Chill,” Suna teased as Kuroo tried to control his heartbeat. “It’s just me, I have Tsukishima’s earbuds and he wanted me to give them to you.”

“Right, he says thanks,” Kuroo offered him a small smile. Suna fidgeted awkwardly in his place and Kuroo exhaled heavily. “How long have you been here?”

“. . . Long enough to get the gist of it. Is she really worth it?”

“I love her,” Kuroo said, though he could tell that something was wrong with the way he said it. Suna seemed to be thinking the same thing, judging by the less-than-impressed expression he had, so he repeated himself with more force, “I _love_ her.” 

“Is it worth cutting Tsukishima out of your life?” Suna asked as he picked up a CD.

“What would you do in my place?” Kuroo pouted as he leaned against a small stand.

“I’d never give up Tsukishima,” Suna answered in a heartbeat, his tone completely serious, before glancing at Kuroo and rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “From what she said, you and Tsukishima are a thing?” Suna paused, shifting his gaze to the side.”I didn’t know about that when I asked him to go to the party. I wouldn’t have asked him if I knew.”

“No, it’s-- it’s completely fine,” Kuroo waved him off, “You answered pretty quickly though,”

“Well at the risk of getting beaten up...I really like Tsukishima. I have no fucking idea why though, seriously, I’ve got to be a masochist or something.”

“Tell me about it,” Kuroo chuckled, “Yamaguchi, Tsukki―shima’s best friend, said that he just built up an immunity.”

“Good advice.” 

“Yup, I think I’ve become impervious to that one lady that heckles us at every match,” They both cracked up as they did crude imitations of the woman.

“He’s really something though,” Suna wiped a tear from his eye as they settled down, “I’ve always been curious about him, but he’s just so standoffish I never really bothered. Last night, I just had this voice in my head telling me that I’d regret never trying harder to get to know him, and I guess something in me agreed, because I found myself at his doorstep.”

“You gotta be kidding me,” Kuroo looked at him, waiting for the punchline but it never came.

“Sounds bat shit crazy,” Suna shook his head, “But I finally got a peek of who he was behind all these layers and it. . . it’s hard to describe, but seeing him come to life like that? I’d do anything to see it again.”

“No I get it, I’ve been doing that since high school,” Kuroo nodded in agreement, “What happened?”

“Well we left the party kind of early, but neither of us really wanted to go back to the dorms yet, so we just walked around the area. Don’t tell him this, but I kinda lied to him,” Suna scratched his neck sheepishly.

“About what?”

“I mean, I kinda panicked with the way that Tsukishima was being so open with me. I thought it was because he might be a little more at ease if I were drunk? I really only had one and half strawberry daiquiris, and I had about two sips of whiskey before I just started spitting it out when he wasn’t looking. I can’t stand the taste of alcohol,” He grimaced and stuck his tongue out.

“Oh god, what did you do?”

“Nothing terrible!” Suna said quickly, waving his hands in front of him, “We just kinda walked around and made fun of things. Oh! Like this one house around this corner, so fucking ugly dude, it was neon yellow. What an eyesore.” 

“For real, who looked at that house and was like ‘You know what would make this better? Painting it fluorescent yellow,’” Kuroo cackled as he mimicked the house owner.

“Terrible. Anyway, after that, we found this abandoned playground, and I swear he was like a little kid again! He threw so much mulch at me I’m still picking out wood chips from my hair.”

“Ah, that explains all the dirt he tracked in.”

“That might’ve been my bad. I got a little competitive,” Suna chuckled as he looked at another CD. “But no, after that, we just lied on the playground and it was the most cheesiest, most cliche moment of my life.”

“Oh, this is rich, you gotta tell me now,”

“...Fine,” Suna said begrudgingly, but a smile still lingered on his face, “Keep in mind, I had no idea you guys were together,”

“It’s totally cool, I just want to make fun of him later.”

“We didn’t talk much, but he played this absolutely amazing western song that just made me feel like I was just another sweaty lovesick teenager,” Kuroo watched Suna’s face morph in a purely besotted expression as he lost himself in the memory.

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Kuroo’s eyes twinkled in amusement as he remembered the way that Tsukishima held that tiny violin on his shoulder and serenaded the room. “You wouldn’t expect such a pretty voice from someone like him,”

“Pretty is an understatement,” The corner of his mouth twitched upwards but it suddenly dropped as he caught himself. Kuroo looked at him inquisitively but Suna refused to meet his eyes, “And then. . . we kind of kissed,”

“‘Kind of?’” Kuroo raised an eyebrow and one corner of his mouth in a smirk.

“Well. . .” Suna shifted uncomfortably, fidgeting with the CD in his hand.

“Once again, it’s totally fine,” Kuroo reminded him. Suna seemed to look conflicted, but nodded to his words. Kuroo opened his mouth and asked the question before he even realized he spoke, “What’s it like?”

“What’s what like?”

“Kissing Tsukishima.”

“You haven’t kissed?” 

“Of course we have!” Kuroo stammered out, waving his arms around as he grew a startling shade of scarlet. “It just, I mean, um, just answer the question,”

‘ _Does the corner of the mouth count?_ ’ He thought to himself as he tried to remember. There was the cake thing, and the little rollerskating one, but he’d never had a genuine kiss with Tsukishima before.

“It was kind of like. . . it’s hard to put it into words. It’s exactly how I felt when I listened to the song. I wanted to know how I would feel if I listened to it again, so I came here. I don’t know the name off the top of my head, but I saw the name and album cover, so I’ll know it when I see it,” Suna said as he flicked through another CD. His eyes roamed the little rack before setting on a bluish colored one. He beamed triumphantly and showed it proudly to Kuroo, “This is the song,”

Kuroo leaned over his shoulder and right above Suna’s bitten down nails were blocky letters, which he read out loud. “Almost (Sweet Music)?”

_That’s my song_

His chest pounded as he reread the title—he thought it must’ve been a mistake but the words never changed. He had a sudden urge to rip it from his hands and smash it to the floor just to keep it away from Suna. He ended up taking it from his hands, a little more forcefully than he intended but he didn't care. Suna looked unsettled at his sudden movements but didn’t say anything as Kuroo continued to look at the CD. His hands were so tight around the cover, he almost thought that if he held on a second longer, the plastic would shatter.

“I’m not going to wreck your relationship though,” Suna glanced over at him, seeing his furrowed eyebrows and the half snarl on his lips. “I wouldn’t do that.” 

Kuroo stopped for a second and forced himself to take a deep breath and relax. Suna anxiously fidgeted to his side, looking like an animal being cornered. Kuroo shifted his gaze to the younger boy and couldn’t help the wave of guilt from crashing onto him. He realized that the only thing in between Suna and Tsukishima getting together was _him_.

“You really like him, don’t you?” Suna whipped his head up at him, surprise and shock clearly evident in his face. Kuroo bit his cheek as Suna remained silent; he looked so timid, so unlike the cocky and arrogant person that Kuroo stood on the court with. 

“Doesn’t matter.” Suna sighed and placed the CD back. “He’s with you.”

“No, um, I think he really likes you too,” Kuroo said, not sure how to explain the real situation. He’d die of embarrassment if word got out about the whole thing being fake-- he’d be painted as one of the most desperate guys on campus.

“It’s okay. Maybe if I asked him earlier, I could’ve beat you to him,” Suna tried for a joke but his voice was too tight for it to be his usual snarky tone.

“Right, because you would’ve met us in high school,” Kuroo rolled his eyes at the statement. Suna’s eyes widened and regarded him curiously.

“You’ve liked him since high school?”

“What? No!” Kuroo immediately backtracked, his voice a little too loud, drawing the attention of a couple patrons. “I mean, kind of? It’s hard to explain, and I might confuse you. It’s just all very―”

“Complicated?” Suna supplied. Kuroo winced at the word but nodded along to it. “Listen I don’t know what happened between you and that girl, but whatever happens. . . don’t bring Tsukishima into it. He doesn’t deserve to be strung along like that. If I were you, I’d figure it out and fast, because you might end up losing them both,”

“I know, I _know_ , but do I really have to choose one or the other?”

“It’s selfish to keep them both, especially when there’s someone who deserves him a lot more,”

“And that’s you?” Kuroo asked with a hint of bite in his tone. Suna tilted his head to the side, thinking hard about his next words.

“Nah, Tsukishima deserves a lot better than me, but if I did, at least I know he would always be my first choice,” Suna shrugged his shoulders, allowing his words to settle in Kuroo’s head. He gave Kuroo one last look before walking out the door, the bells mocking Kuroo as Suna slowly disappeared from sight.

Kuroo let out a deep breath and quickly scanned his item through the checkout. He made his way out the door when he felt his phone vibrate.

**(From: Bokuto):** I DESERVE A REFUND, 30 MINUTES HAVE PASSED AND I AM NOWHERE NEAR READY

“Oh right,” Kuroo slapped his forehead and quickly responded. 

**(To: Bokuto):** sorry time flew ;p meet you at your dorm instead?

Kuroo bit his lip and sent another text before he could overthink about it. 

**(To: Bokuto):** kinda need some advice about tsukki...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and so it begins! comment any advice, suggestions, or thoughts, i always try to respond and i really love hearing from you guys! thanks for reading, see you guys next time!


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